Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Organized Crime a.k.a. the G.O.P.

Tom DeLay has a guy on his staff turn state’s evidence and so now he has to resign from Congress and withdraw from his Texas campaign for re-election where he just narrowly won a primary victory. Bummer.

How do Republicans in Congress deal with it? They gave him a standing ovation. DeLay says he fasted to help him make the spiritual decision to drop out. I figure it is all just spin. He contemplated life in prison with a cell-mate that has a predilection for pudginess, and, well, he lost his appetite. His spiritual advisor compared him to Christ.

Why did he resign? Well, he says it is because he wanted his constituents to be sure to have a Republican representative in the House. Then why did he run in the primary? Apparently, he didn’t want the constituents to actually choose their Republican representative for themselves. Of course, the money raised during his campaign will be put to good use. It’s all going to his legal fees.

Here’s how Knight-Ridder framed the issue:
The former House majority leader announced his resignation three days after court documents revealed that federal investigators have uncovered evidence of corruption in his leadership office. Tony Rudy, former deputy chief of staff to the powerful Republican congressman from Texas, admitted in a plea agreement that he sold his influence to disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff while he was working for DeLay.

Rudy became the second former DeLay aide who's agreed to cooperate with federal investigators in return for a more lenient sentence.
During a interview in Time, DeLay let it be known that there’s a third pigeon in his coup. All eyes are on Ed Buckham.

Anyway, in order to get off the ballot, he had to announce that he no longer plans to live in Texas. That’s funny because he is under indictment and out on bail in Texas. Generally speaking, one of the factors that determine whether or not a defendant is released on bail is his or her “ties to the community.”

Over in Homeland Security, they found another pervert trying to solicit a child on the Internet. This time it was a spokesman for DHS, Brian Doyle. He was actually caught by Operation Predator, the agency’s program to bust child sex predators.

Not the first time we found a pervert in Homeland Security. We can’t forget that Frank Figuero was caught exposing himself to a girl, and masturbating for 10 minutes in the food court at a shopping mall. Funny thing is, Figuero was the guy who ran Operation Predator.

At least the Department of Homeland Security is preparing for management of the next emergency. Only problem is that they can’t get anyone to take the job vacated by Mike “heck-of-a-job” Brown.

And they still bother to ask people if the country is heading in the right direction. According to the NBC/Wall Street Journel Poll, 26% said “yep.” Go figure!

“… and tell ’em Big Mitch sent ya!”

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